make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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