We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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