Your mouth is God's brothel.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
