ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
