I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
