check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Please, let me fuck your mom
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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