I love black thongs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm both gender and math confused
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
