just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
