Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
