i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
