i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
