Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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