he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
