You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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