bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
