Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this