I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You're a disaster
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.