I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.