and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be