I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
