im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
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did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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