this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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