Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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