dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
