just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
