Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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