somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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