I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
