If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
