took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
