He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
