It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Life is so much better after having sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Randomize
