my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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