dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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