I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They are going to name an STD after you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize