Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm like, not good at living.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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