There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
