Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
