Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
