Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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