So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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