Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
