He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Holy sore nipples Batman
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
