whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
