did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
