so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
