Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
