Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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