If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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