I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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