the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
