did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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