No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
