some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
