So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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