Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
