I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize