all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
