she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
