he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So vagazzling was a success
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